When You're Overwhelmed, Create Self-Care "Bookends"
A huge impact in just a few minutes
“I’m overwhelmed.”
This seems to be the phrase of the day (or the month, or the year).
Overwhelmed is such a different space to be in than simply being stressed out. Stress can often be managed from within. We can get motivated by a certain amount of stress. Some people thrive on stress. And studies show that some stress makes us more resilient, just like breaking down our muscles in a workout makes us stronger.
From this article:
But we’re learning that moderate amounts of stress have powerful benefits. The stress response is designed to help us react when something potentially threatening happens, to help us deal with it and learn from it. Our research shows that moderate, short-lived stress can improve alertness and performance and boost memory.
But when you’re overwhelmed, there’s not much you can do but hope that circumstances change from outside.
This is because when you’re in a state of overwhelm, you’re beyond the stress point. You don’t have the centeredness and groundedness needed to delegate, create a to-list, ask for help, or make good, clear decisions and communicate them effectively.
You cannot “positive self-talk” your way out of a state of overwhelm. It is a state of mental survival.
Ayurvedic Perspective
According to Ayurveda, overwhelm is a symptom of excess Vata dosha—the dosha made of Air and Ether.
(Take a look through this flipbook for more information on the three doshas of Kapha, Pitta, and Vata.)
When Air and Ether accumulate within our minds to the point of overflowing, and it is not counterbalanced by the other elements of Fire, Water, and Earth, we feel:
Ungrounded
Unable to make decisions
Unable to think/see clearly
Forgetful
Undisciplined
Scattered
Flighty, hard to pin down
And, of course: Overwhelmed.
Telling someone who is in a state of overwhelm that they need to “calm down”, “make some decisions”, or “set some boundaries” is akin to asking a kite to fly in a straight line.
So, instead of trying to manage, control, or direct the overwhelm (an impossible feat) we instead look to contain it.
This is where self-care bookends come in.
Self-Care Bookends
By bookends, I mean establishing a fixed morning routine and an evening routine. They do not need to be long, fancy, or complicated. They just need to be repeated regularly, no matter what happened during the day.
Some examples:
Start each morning with a gratitude practice (list out things you’re grateful for). Each evening, do a 15-minute mindfulness meditation (just watch your thoughts, no censoring)
Begin your day with some stretching. End each day with a Yoga Nidra (yoga sleep) practice.
Start each day journaling your intentions. End each day listening to some calming music.
(If you’re in a state of overwhelm and choosing from those three seems like too much to ask, do the last one.)
The idea is that even when you’re in a state of overwhelm during the day, there’s a place and time when it all comes to a stop. The kite is still flying, but there’s a container and a space for it, which eventually will begin to slow it down at which point you can start to bring it back down to earth. Until we can create boundaries for our own energy, we cannot hope to set them on others’.
When you’re in a state of overwhelm, be extra gentle with yourself. Don’t criticize yourself for not being able to make decisions, or for needing help. The very nature of being overwhelmed makes it nearly impossible to settle into your body—particularly the heart, gut, and emotional centers—where the best decisions and boundaries are known and can be communicated clearly and effectively.
One day at a time, one routine at a time, you will soon get back to a healthier state of mind.
The most important takeaway here is this:
Day after day, having these self-care bookends in place will rein in and calm excess Vata energy. From there, you will start to notice that you can think more clearly, and you will soon know what decisions and boundaries need to be made and set in order to reduce the overwhelm you experience over time.
If your self-talk got away from you during the day, you can reclaim it in the evening. If you felt powerless, you can recenter yourself before you start your next day. These bookends are reset points when you put everything that happened during the day firmly behind you, and set positive intentions for the brand new day and experience yet to come.
This is how you take your power back.
