Quit Habit Management. Transform Your Consciousness Instead
Is "Habit Management" really the self-improvement hack it promises to be?
Habit Management
Let's talk about habits. Habits are actions that we perform, or steps that we go through, without thinking. Once set into place, they require relatively little energy or thought to perform. This is good for things like brushing our teeth or stopping at a red light when we're driving. Some of these automatic reflexes keep us safe or give us direction. But is "Habit Management" really the self-improvement hack it promises to be? Is changing out one set of habits ("bad habits") for another ("good habits") the personal growth goldmine many like to say it is?
Or, is Habit Management just a quick and easy way to make ourselves feel better...for a while? Could it be that it is the equivalent of the "soma pills" handed out liberally in the now-banned book, Brave New World, to keep the population obedient and unconscious?
The self-improvement/wellness industry has built itself up on peoples' desire to live better lives. We've been sold a line that changing our habits is how we change ourselves. And we buy it by the bushelful:
I don't hate these books. I've read many of them, and gained valuable insights from them. When what you're looking for in life is small improvements, ways to feel a little better, get a bit more productive, or become a better (more conditioned) team player, then these books are great. I'm not questioning the means. I'm questioning the end goal.
The goal of Habit Management is to live a better life. I, personally, want much more than just living a better life. I think you do, too. I want to go through regular transformations, where each rebirth I awaken to more and more of my true self. I want to show, not tell, others how to undergo not just personal development with the goal of living a better life, but personal transformation with the goal of uncovering my truest, most authentic self.
By swapping out harmful habits for more helpful ones, you'll get continual-yet-incremental change. You get to leave the core of who you are relatively stable while playing around with the accessories. But really what you're doing by changing habits is mimicking the person you think you want to be; you're not becoming that person.
Tinkering with habits is like a child who wants to learn how to ride a bike instead spending their time building better and better bikes from legos: it looks like there's improvement, but it remains child's play.
If you want to be a productive automaton, changing out habits like you'd change out parts for a car, I suppose habit management is the way to go. But for a complete and total personal transformation, one that calls into question all of your habits, you have to let go of Habit Management.
Our Unconscious Life
Scientists believe that we live most of our lives on habits and routines. Quote:
Todays science estimates that 95 percent of our brains activity is unconscious, meaning that the majority of the decisions we make, the actions we take, our emotions and behaviours, depend on the 95 percent of brain activity that lies beyond conscious awareness.
This same article goes on to tell us that our habits live in our subconscious mind:
As we go about our daily routine such as waking up, travelling to and from work, eating, drinking and going to sleep it becomes second nature, we’ve formed habits. This is because we process information quickly and without being aware, this is the unconscious mind at work. Freud believed the unconscious mind does most of the work of our daily activities without us even realizing it.
Read that again: habits are actions that our subconscious is doing without us even realizing it.
That means that habits are actions we perform without awareness. Without presence. Without the one thing that truly makes us human and apart from other sentient creatures: consciousness.
This newsletter is about the importance of breaking things down in order to build them back up. When something breaks down to its core elements, what alchemists call "First Matter", only then can you build something back up that is a more true reflection of who you are and what you stand for in the world.
If it's better relationships, jobs, or mindset you're after, changing habits might make you feel like you're making progress. But it's not real. It's not sustainable. It's not you. You cannot just combine a bunch of raw ingredients in a bowl and call it a cake. Neither can you pile habits onto yourself and call it "the new you". You need the melting, the heat, the blending, the mixing, the breaking down. It's all necessary.
Rather than simply running through routines and exercises because they've become habitual, transformation asks us to question why we do any of the things we're doing, why we think any of the thoughts we think, and what is the best course of action at any given time.
Personal growth is great. Self-improvement can give anyone a few tips and tricks to improve their lives. But habit-building makes you believe you're becoming a butterfly when, in truth, you've become a caterpillar who can tap dance for an audience.
Lead into Gold
Alchemy...isn’t about trying to transform lead or other metals into gold. Instead, perhaps there were some people who carried out the true secret of alchemy: symbolically reversing the material, earthly, and unconscious for spirit, consciousness, and meaning. This is true gold.
Creating "better" habits does not turn you to gold. There's so such thing as golden habits. Habits by nature are leaded. They're heavy, they keep us tied down, they keep us unconscious. With habits, we slowly become like the elephant who once needed a huge stake to keep him from running but now needs only a thin string around his ankle to remind him that he is not free.
Perhaps you think your habits are not that dull. That you've worked really hard to refine them, shine them up. Maybe they're sharpened and fine-pointed. So, congratulations, you've made a pencil.
The process of alchemical transformation, on the other hand, can turn that pencil into gold. You just have to turn it over first.
Gold represents our ability to live from wisdom. Gold stands for our presence and mindfulness in all situations, our ability to be resistant to any kind of conditioning—even when, especially when, that conditioning comes in the guise of "self-improvement." Gold is consciousness. It is awareness. It is living at the height of our human potential.
This work of transformation is not for everyone, and it's not for any time of life. Sometimes, we just need to get by for a while on habits. That's okay. Building habits can be a survival skill, a way to get through a challenging time. But they are not for long term; they are not a way to live out our entire lives. Wise men and women, what we used to call "elders", know this; they do not live by habit, they live by instinct. By their gut. By their heart. They don't need lists to check off to feel good about themselves. They are embodied, whole, awake.
Each day, we are different. We have new thoughts and ideas, our bodies have changed, the world is new. We've dreamt up worlds while we slept, and those worlds now live within us. Living today like a re-run of yesterday is squandering an opportunity. It ties us down. It stunts our expression. It stifles our soul. It makes us old, not elder. There's a difference.
Becoming You
The reason we all buy books about better habits is because we're all hoping to become the truest version of who we are. We've come to believe that changing habits is the way to get there. But it's not. The way to get to who you are is to break down everything you think you are. To burn it, to melt it, to break it. You have to let everything you think is a part of you fall off like so much clothing. It might be beautiful or adored, but that doesn't mean it's you. That doesn't mean you should keep it. All that sparkles is not gold.
If you want to become you, you have to question all of your conditioning. In order to do that, you have to get out from under your habits, because your habits are an extension of your conditioning.
You are hidden under your habits. You are not your conditioning.
If you want to find out who you are, you have to question everything you think you are, and everything you think you believe. Most of it's not you—it's your society, your family, your grandma, your ex. Some of it is survival skills. Some of it is good intentions. Much of it is make-believe.
Who are you? To find out, you have to let go of everything you automatically (habitually) say when someone asks that question.
Habits are unconscious, repeatable actions that have very little value in a path of true transformation. Let go of this idea that you will become something. You will never become; for you are always becoming.
As you undergo the process of becoming, of transforming, you will no longer need habits to guide your life, no matter how "healthy". Instead, you will guide your life from within, from the knowledge and light that you hold inside yourself. Your choices will come from wisdom and experience, not routine. Your responses to life will be customized, not rote. Rather than a life built on habit and routines, you will enhance the quality of your life by raising your consciousness and feeling and sensing everything, moment to moment.